


loosing control

by whywontyou



Series: Imagination [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Internal Conflict, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mental Health Issues, My First AO3 Post, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:34:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29276256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whywontyou/pseuds/whywontyou
Summary: George and Dream both come to realize something they were previously too scared to admit to.
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Imagination [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2150061
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	loosing control

**Author's Note:**

> Hi :]  
> just a quick little heads up, I am not native to the english language, so I apologize for any grammar or spelling errors in this! I hope you are still able to enjoy this little read, please let me know what you think!

“why?“ he asked. Why, George thought, that is such a simple question for an answer that is everything BUT simple. Why? Why were things like this? Why was he like this? Why him? Why? “Don’t ask me that, you know the answer.” The shorter one huffed, eyes fixed on the marble countertop of the kitchen they were sat in. “I do, yeah, but I want to hear it out of your mouth. So? Why?” Dream repeated, his gaze lying on George’s pale features as he awaited his answer. He wasn’t too sure, if he really knew the answer to his own question. Sure, the two had touched the subject once or twice, but George, being the secretive, careful presence he is, always made sure they wouldn’t cut too deep. The feeling of fear was always something very present in the older one’s life, and Dream knew that. George always said that it was because of his many little mishaps as a child, accidents that he would be reminded of every day by the scars that had taken a permanent spot on his otherwise perfect porcelain skin. Maybe that was the reason why, but dream had always marked this excuse as exactly that – an excuse so George wouldn’t have to talk about his actual feelings. A sort of damage control if you will. Admittedly, Dream was aware of the stigma that still lingered in George’s head, stopping him from feeling safe enough to talk about the feelings he felt so strongly every day in a call with his two best friends. The Floridian used to mark this sort of fear off as irrational, it never made sense to him why one would believe in these types of things and let them have so much control over you, but then he met George. And just like he did with so many other things and thoughts and routines in Dream’s life, George changed this. He thought of that moment almost every day since it had happened. It was December, and George filled the voice call with constant complaints about broken heaters and missing sweaters until late at night. He had finally found a piece of clothing that would keep his slim frame warm, the general rule of ‘no socks in bed’ thrown overboard in an attempt to keep the warmth directly in his body. They had been quiet for a bit, and Dream was almost about to hang up so he wouldn’t accidentally wake George in a moment of incautiousness, when George raised his voice to a volume almost inaudible, to say “I’m scared this is just a phase, Dream.”. The call fell silent again after that, both of them neither wanting to nor feeling like they needed to say something, George hadn’t tried to start a conversation then, he just wanted to speak his thoughts out loud. Dream had always been wondering what was going on in that pretty mind of George’s when he stayed silent for sometimes hours on end, or when he refused to answer certain questions, just shaking his head ‘no’ into the camera that was directed right at his face. “Why do I need to say it if you know what I’m going to say?” George rolled his eyes, his sweater sleeve suddenly appearing to be the most interesting thing in sight. “George…” Dream sighed, stepping closer to his brown haired friend, hands finding their way onto George’s rose-tinted cheeks, fitting perfectly around his warm face. “I am trying to help you figure this out. It’s hard for me to see you like this. You’re pushing me away because you are scared and I know you don’t mean to be like this. So, tell my why you think we should wait. Sapnap knows we aren’t just crazy good friends. He heard us talk, he saw how we greeted each other, don’t you think he caught up to what is going on?”  
George sucked in a sharp breath at that, feeling like Dream’s words had made their way around his neck, holding tight to take away his ability to breathe. “I don’t care if he caught up to something. It’s a big difference for me, if we actively tell him about this or if he’s just having a bit of a suspicion.” He admitted, finally turning his head to directly look up at Dreams green eyes. George used to think it’s ridiculous how the color green had such a reoccurring theme in his life, but at some point, he started to connect a certain feeling to this color. A color that he could see, even if his eyes weren’t showing him reality sometimes, he could almost feel the vibrancy the color green was giving off. It was Dreams color. It was home. Everywhere he went, he came across this color, it always stuck out to him, because it had become so much more than just a color. Somewhere in-between late night calls and early morning in-game competitions, George had realized that this everlasting occurrence of green throughout his life was Dream. In all the moments he felt suffocated by the fear he felt, sitting alone in the crammed space he made for himself in his closet when he felt like his entire world came crashing down on him, the only things that were able to help him pick up the broken pieces of his troubled mind had been the things that reminded him of the guy he fell for. Green hoodies, those weird socks his mom had made for him when he was 17 that looked like a blind person had picked the colors for, all his comfort things were green. All his comfort had been Dream. From the moment they started talking, George had started feeling comfort in these moments that usually had always driven him to exhaustion instead of closure. It never really struck him as something that had to do with his new friend, no, George just checked it off as ‘getting better’. He did get better, that was true, but it was not just coming out of the blue. George allowed himself to feel more and accept those feelings, because Dream had taught him how to. Dream had nonverbally showed George that it was okay. It was okay to feel scared, it was okay to not be the strong one. It was okay to ask for help and tell people if you are struggling. He started to feel better because he learned that he had never really been alone, and that he would never be alone with these things in the future either, because now he had Dream. “Why would it matter? Do you not want this? Do you believe what your head is telling you?” Dream then asked, starting to feel irritated and almost scared at how George was avoiding the real question of this conversation. It was late and they were both tired, having gotten up at 6am this morning to drop Nick off at the airport had obviously worn them out a fair amount, but neither of them felt it was right to leave this conversation overnight, so here they were. “No, I do. I do want this; I want it so bad that I am scared I want it too much. I don’t want to set impossibly high expectations for you because I know you would rather die than not meet up to them, Dream. You are so much more than I ever could have wished for and I am scared I am going to lose you, so I am trying to make sure I am as safe as I can be with things like these. You ask ‘why’ as if I can just give you a one line answer, but you know the answer is so much more complicated than that.” George tells the taller one, looking at him with the most sincerity Dream had ever seen in George’s brown eyes. It was in that moment that Dream realized just how much George loved him. Of course, he had figured his British friend must at least like him a little to consider dropping everything he had just to move to Florida and be with him, but he never really allowed himself to thing further. As much as George was afraid of feeling too much for Dream, Dream had been afraid to feel too much for George. He had talked to his mom and mutual friends of his and George about this, wanting to get an outsider’s opinion on the whole thing, and they both had told him that he would figure it out along the way. He almost got annoyed at those answers, feeling like they were little to no help in his situation, all up to this very moment he found himself in, staring into chocolate brown eyes that were full of passion, fear, excitement and one thing he never thought he was going to see in them – love. Up to this moment, Dream had always told himself not to get too into this because he wasn’t sure George was going to commit to this. He didn’t want to relive something like his first break up again, so he learnt it was best to not let yourself fall into something too fast until you know for sure this is going to be something of last. And now here he was, still holding George’s face in his hands, wondering how he ever lived without this. And George went through about the same realization as they stood there, just looking into each other’s eyes as they both finally admitted to what they were; not friends, not best friends, no, George and Dream were lovers.


End file.
